The First and Second Light in Marriage

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Published Mar 6, 2018

Rabbi Benzion Klatzko

Difference between first and second light in terms of relationships regarding marriage. First light is very bright, exciting, wishful, and merely, a gift. It is the feeling we conjure when receiving a positive first impression. When meeting a girl or guy that one likes for the first time, it can be very exciting and sometimes labeled as “love at first sight.” Second light is the relationship one maintains with his/her spouse throughout life. This second light needs to be earned and is not easy, for one feels obligated to satisfy the needs and wants of the spouse, which can be difficult at times.

Well, we can understand second light is more important to have than first light, for first light is only short-term. Second light is what a person has to invest in to maintain a positive and loving relationship that is established for the long term. This light is more calming, mature, and real.

So, why do we have a first light at all? What is the purpose of a first light if it’s not that important?

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